i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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