yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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