in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
