Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm just crazy horny about you
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
