is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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