Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
