Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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