And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
