I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
