Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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