Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
