Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
