Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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