remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
