the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize