Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
