So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize