nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize