there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
