my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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