Can i not drive my cunt home
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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