we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize