I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
