Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She said her name was "party"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
