It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my sisters under your porch take her home
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
