We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
