it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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