I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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