Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
