so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
