It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize