Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
