Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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