Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
