Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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