he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
