So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
soo... how was my night?
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