I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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