ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
no, he came in my armpit
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
