its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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