Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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