Please, let me fuck your mom
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
