he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
