So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
