So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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