I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I am one with the molecules
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
