she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
