? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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