are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
