So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
