my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
