i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
