u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's blow job season.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
