He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
