haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
His nipple licking is glorious
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