I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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