Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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