I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
