let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The adults are the big ones right?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
